I was thinking...

i was thinking and remembered this feeling of anger and sadness i have felt during high school....i always hated when my friends would say "i am doing this because i am protecting you" just this feeling of a little kid who needed protecting ugh.....and one of my ex-friends like always threw parties but never invited me (their was drinking) but the thing is back then i would idolize that and then feel depressed because i never went......but i would always come to reasoning with myself saying to myself that he was trying to protect me. I have always been the one who has been protected like some fragile doll yea know. I hate that, but i try to bottle that feeling inside. Recently it has started to show. Oh dear, i want to just murder that feeling. ugh just go away! Now that i have left my guards, left the mansion i was trapped in my whole life, left the protection, i still feel like a prisoner to my own feelings. i have lived a privileged life, always wearing a mask of happiness, joy, innocence, purity, and playfulness. Now that i try to leave it behind, i can not help to think i might lose myself and start to question of who am i in this world so big and so cruel. But of course i want to keep my aristocratic ways to hold power and elegance and beauty. But the real joy i see is in what is yet to be written in the book of my life. i hope to see light instead of this darkness. Oh joy oh joy, whoever triggered this will soon parish for i have never written something so personal and so dark as this. So, i bid adieu to you my reader to these lovely and elegant thoughts of yours truly. See you soon in the later chapter of my life.

Just feel like ranting

So hi, i feel like ranting about something so here it goes lol. well my friend want me to drink at AX and i dont want to for a few reasons. one reason being that i dont like to drink....period!...and why you might ask, well my dad thats why. i hate it when he drinks. he gets on my nerves. also, when he does bring beer in the house like corona, i usually tell him im going to smash the bottles in the back yard....which i sometimes do. second, when i do drink it will be when im 21 and it will be wine because i will be like having dinner...you know like in Italy. thats the only time i will drink not at some stupid party and just to get drunk because thats just stupid. even at my own wedding i will not have any alcohol, i will however, have a bar, but you will have to pay to drink MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. third of all, i have morals and stadards of living. i say drink, but with modesty because i hate dealing with drunks. geeze, i just hate it!!! i really dont care if my friend drinks because thats the path they chose, not me. like i always say live life they way you please. and this is how i live mine....alcohol free.....also, i really do not like it when guys talk about grils as objects to be owned or won over. and those girls who put themsleves "in the market" are either confused or sluts. geeze, why cant any they just dress like normal people. and its also they guys fault not just the girls becaus ethey use the lame exuse "well what can i do they just thorw themselves at me." or "boys will be boys" thats just lame and retarded responses. that just irritates me! thats why i like being "weird" (thats what people would think) but i think they are foolish for doing stuff like that. whoever read this, sorry for my misspelling, im just mad lol isnt that a rant anyways. sometimes i can be a hikikkimori at parties or just places because i dont like talking to people that much, especially if they do not have the same intrests like me. i think its much easier to talk online then anything, well that can be a problem cuz we are sorta losing that human contact with one another lol. well, i guess im done ranting lol, so thanks for reading this....you didnt have to because i just wanted to vent....well off to AX '11 :]

well, the time has come for ppl to go back to school v.v (boo whoo) but the up side to all of this is we get to see our friends once again, but like every single day >.< i went back to school on the 20th of August and it was friday.....i know how strange~ but the up side of that is i got to see my friends again and i got out early too >.< anyways, i got HW like the very 1st day from my Art class...and i got HW on monday...sooo lots of HW here lol...i whish i didnt have HW (period) i think everyone thinks this way~ Chiyuki and axman36 have returned from Japan (i hope they brought back some sweets for me...i want some Japanese Candy XD) i just hope they had a whole lot of fun. if you go to Tensai Gamer, you can go and see Chiyuki's Adventure to Japan Video (I hope she post's it up) anyways...just go to Tensai Gamer and see what we have right know, I know we ahvent posted a lot, but we have stuff to do and those two just got back (like today)....and they are tired from their flight back...so you might not see anything new until next week ok people ^_^ i hope this blog can give more insite of what is going on in our personal life as a whole (we do want our privacy though sooo i dont sare a whole lot ok) So today i went walking home from school (because of AX Live was on today {online} @ 7pm...but there is a Pre-show and a After Show they do) anyways....i was walking home (cuz i usually go to my grandmothers house) and i stopped at 7 11 for a slurpee..and then came out. IT WAS HHHHHOOOOTTTTT!!!! and i had my navy blue uniform on (no...i was not wearing pants and yes i have to wear uniform for school) and my bag back was heavy soo i was sorta sweatting (eeewww) and i was passing a fruit guy cart and some (old) man on a bike (keep this in mind that i had my headphones on) and was telling me like this: "hey....HEY!!!..BEHIND YOU!!!" and i turned off my MP3 off (it was low...but not that low ok) and he was rude....i was like (in my head) Dude how in the world can i see behind my freakin' head stupid...but this lady who was behind him (who i knew was biking with the rude man) she said "sorry" and i was like wow, what a polite lady unlike that stupid man. i think that rude man was raised in a cave...but as a kind of person that is me...i let go of it just because of the lady plus i didnt care lol~ ok so i just went to Tensai Gamer and found this rude comment on our blog and it reads: "This site is kinda terrible. I dug up one of the podcasts you guys did on e3. That demontium and ninjaman talked the whole time about what other sites were reporting. WTF!? If you guys are so interested in sites like giantbomb, go join them and keep the discussion there (and I'm aware that demontium is a big poster and well known on giantbomb, but he still doesn't just have to talk about it the entire time), no reason to make a blog (which you guys somehow plan to turn into a website) that reports the reported. And I hate anime so that doesn't help either." (By Anon) {i call Anonymous people Anons or Anon ok...got this from the blazin anime chat room lol} 1st, are you chicken to let us know your username??? 2nd if you have nothing good to say, then dont say anything ok 3rd if you hate anime...ANIME HATES YOU...anime is such a great thing, and you sir have insulted us and the entire Anime/Mnaga Community >=[ i really hate people like that...i bet he has watched Pokemon or Digimon and loved it....DUDE THATS ANIME BAKA...no its more like TRIPLE BAKA!!! if you have read the whole thing this far i congratulate you ^_^ oh and dont forget to go to Tensai Gamer and subscribe to the Tensai Gamer Youtube plus the Cosfluff Youtube (i want you guys to spead this cuz people who are in the slightly bigger range would like to cosplay, but they dont have enough confidence to...so please help her cause...thanx in advance) well i will stop typing here and please look at my youtube account and subscribe to me if you have yet and remember to check for my next episode of The Zabimaru Show.....arigato gozaimasu ^_^ ("Thank you very much." in Japanese)

Start of a new school year

well, the time has come for ppl to go back to school v.v (boo whoo) but the up side to all of this is we get to see our friends once again, but like every single day >.< i went back to school on the 20th of August and it was friday.....i know how strange~ but the up side of that is i got to see my friends again and i got out early too >.< anyways, i got HW like the very 1st day from my Art class...and i got HW on monday...sooo lots of HW here lol...i whish i didnt have HW (period) i think everyone thinks this way~ Chiyuki and axman36 have returned from Japan (i hope they brought back some sweets for me...i want some Japanese Candy XD) i just hope they had a whole lot of fun. if you go to Tensai Gamer, you can go and see Chiyuki's Adventure to Japan Video (I hope she post's it up) anyways...just go to Tensai Gamer and see what we have right know, I know we ahvent posted a lot, but we have stuff to do and those two just got back (like today)....and they are tired from their flight back...so you might not see anything new until next week ok people ^_^ i hope this blog can give more insite of what is going on in our personal life as a whole (we do want our privacy though sooo i dont sare a whole lot ok) So today i went walking home from school (because of AX Live was on today {online} @ 7pm...but there is a Pre-show and a After Show they do) anyways....i was walking home (cuz i usually go to my grandmothers house) and i stopped at 7 11 for a slurpee..and then came out. IT WAS HHHHHOOOOTTTTT!!!! and i had my navy blue uniform on (no...i was not wearing pants and yes i have to wear uniform for school) and my bag back was heavy soo i was sorta sweatting (eeewww) and i was passing a fruit guy cart and some (old) man on a bike (keep this in mind that i had my headphones on) and was telling me like this: "hey....HEY!!!..BEHIND YOU!!!" and i turned off my MP3 off (it was low...but not that low ok) and he was rude....i was like (in my head) Dude how in the world can i see behind my freakin' head stupid...but this lady who was behind him (who i knew was biking with the rude man) she said "sorry" and i was like wow, what a polite lady unlike that stupid man. i think that rude man was raised in a cave...but as a kind of person that is me...i let go of it just because of the lady plus i didnt care lol~ ok so i just went to Tensai Gamer and found this rude comment on our blog and it reads: "

I'm still here at this blog you know~

hey ppl.....no this is not a ghost. i am still here at this blog and im here to tell you that i will update this every so often, so dont cry (yet >.>) who said that?!?!?! ........................anyways, im here enjoying my summer and i have to do my hw ( im sooo behind >.<) has anyone found me yet from Anime Expo 2010 Day 2??? please help me on my quest to find me~

Anime Expo '10 Day 2

~AX 2010 Day 2~

(That's it from AX '10 Day 2)

what happened to ep 7???

well, because of copy right stuff....go to a different location on youtube like the US canary islands or go to japan.


i am now (officially) part of the team at tensaigamer.blogspot.com........please go there to see me do reviews of manga. my 1st review was on Kimi Ni Todoke....so go over there and see what i had to say about this manga. please go there because i will be more active over there....but this will only be added to my show so this blog was only created to be part of my show....so please go to tensaigamer.blogspot.com to see my thoughts/reviews about stuff......this place is to talk about random stuff like stuff that happens to me or something i think was cool that i can not talk about over there....but for the most part i will be over there than here at this blog.....so go over there please~